We Eloped!

“Let’s just do it while we’re down there.”~ The Bearded One

The bearded one and I were one of many couples who intended on getting married and 2020, but those plans changed thanks to COVID. Regardless of the year or location, we knew were eloping. We’ve both been married before, and we didn’t want the fuss of a huge wedding. In our experience, the stress, the money spent, and the exhaustion of planning a huge wedding aren’t worth it in the end. Instead, we would save our money for those essential things, like our kids’ college fund, retirement plan, vehicles, and retirement home.

We planned to elope in Vegas in July 2020; the pandemic changed those plans just like it did for so many other couples. It changed ours to the point that it was essentially “on hold” until future notice. Annually my family visits the Outer Banks in September for vacation. Every other year, we opt to take a separate week with just us and the kids. It was during the planning of our trip in July that he said, “Let’s just do it while we’re down there.” So the planning commenced. Now mind you, most people are booking their destination weddings a year in advance. I started planning in July. I was pretty sure that I was not going to be successful in landing a photographer (the only actual expense I wanted to spend) or an officiant that I respected and that would appreciate who we are as a couple. I’ve learned from experience; research is essential when it comes to some things. (Check out my blog “Rising from the Ashes…a tattoo story). Outlined below are the little things that made our wedding so special.

THE DRESS- $200.00
I wanted something unique to me, but I was not about to spend a fortune on a dress I would wear for a max of 5 hours. I looked online for a dress. I found my dress at www.junebridals.com. I initially ordered my dress in off-white but quickly regretted it when I remembered the bearded one said off-white looks, “dirty” to him. Thankfully I was able to stop the order and have it dyed platinum. It cost me an extra $40 for the “alteration” but was well worth it. The anticipation of ordering a dress online is quite simply overwhelming. Is it a quality dress? Will it be too small? I measured myself three times to be sure. The dress arrived within a month of the wedding, and a local tailor in Pittsburgh, Express Alterations Bridgeville, worked its magic on the dress. There wasn’t a lot of work that needed to be done to the dress. Fortunately, I maintain the same weight, so the dress just needed to be hemmed. I would be barefoot for the ceremony and in the sand. Barb at Express Alterations was amazing. In a brief few moments I met with her, you could tell she was excellent at her craft.

RINGS – Custom Designed Rings
My engagement ring was unique. It wasn’t necessarily designed to be an engagement ring, so finding a wedding band to fit it was quite a challenge. He purchased my engagement ring from Ashcroft & Oak. The bearded one is not particularly happy with the quality of the ring. We learned from this purchase that you get what you pay for in quality and artistry. We opted to have my wedding bands custom designed. JAB Jewelers in McMurray, Pennsylvania, were up for the challenge and created two wedding bands that beautifully fit my ring. My wedding set truly represents my unique style, and the set looks fantastic. The next challenge was finding someone to make what the bearded one wanted for his wedding band. He wanted to incorporate the gold from his late father’s wedding ring. After several “NO, we can’t do that,” we finally got a “YES! We can do that!” Paixao jewelers in Kennedy Township, Pennsylvania, created the bearded ones, custom band. Inside of his white gold hammered band is the gold of his father’s ring. A small detail that most people don’t know is there but means so much to him. Paixao’s owners Paulino and Eileen, have become quick friends and will be our jewelers for life. They genuinely care about their customers. They refuse to say “NO,” and that is exemplary customer service. I highly recommend that you choose custom jewelers for your rings. They are worth the money, and supporting local businesses that genuinely care about your end design makes a difference. Remember, you get what you pay for when it comes to jewelry.

I love you,
Not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.

I love, Not only for what you have made of yourself, But for what you are making of me.

I Love You by Roy Croft

LOCATION – South Nags Head, NC
Choosing the location of the wedding was probably the easiest part for us to decide. Why? My Aunt and Uncle own a house in South Nags Head on the beach. All we had to do was ensure they were okay with us saying our wedding vows on the beach in front of their house. There are many unique locations in the Outer Banks where couples can pay to have the whole production orchestrated by a wedding planner. Suppose you’re looking to save money and keep it simple. Rent a house like Sun Over Beach and have the wedding where you’re staying! It was less stressful for all of us, for sure. We had everything we needed in the house to relax and get ready for the wedding. Sun Over Beach has seven bedrooms, all with en-suite bathrooms.
On the morning of the wedding, we selected where we wanted to have the ceremony. We opted for the dune. It was either the dune deck facing the Outer Banks Pier or down on the dune facing the same direction. It was a beautiful view, and with our sunset wedding, we hoped for an empty beach and perfect weather, and God certainly provided all the above.
In case the weather was not cooperative, plan B was in the large living room in the house because of the large windows and ocean view.

FOOD
Since this was a small gathering, we opted to cook our food. We picked a menu of things we love. We opted to smoke bbq instead of ordering out. The bearded one brought our smoker. I cooked the sides early in the morning, and we were all set for dinner after the wedding—nothing fancy but certainly a touch of home.
Hickory Smoked Pulled Pork, Homemade Mac n Cheese, and Bacon Green Beans in Tomato Sauce were on the menu for dinner.

Is cooking not your thing? Catering for weddings can be costly. Remember we were eloping and only had a total of 6 people at the wedding. If you want to not worry about a thing, I found plenty of great food places in OBX that will cater to your wedding at your beach house. It was more cost-effective for us to buy our groceries and cook in the huge kitchen this house has at our disposal.

CAKE OR COOKIES
I love a good chocolate cake with espresso frosting or burnt almond torte, but wedding cakes are expensive. Nor did I want to order a cake in the outer banks that I had not first tasted. I’m a bit of a cake snob, considering my grandmother was a professional cake creator. We opted for cookies. Western Pennsylvania has a tradition known around the country as a cookie table, and no self-respecting Pittsburgher would have a wedding without a cookie table. I found a local cookie artisan Frosted-n-Iced in Greentree to create our royal icing wedding cookies. She packaged the cookies individually so they would make the 10-hour trek to the outer banks safely. The challenge was keeping the cookies intact until the big day! Good Lovin’ Bakery was the other local Pittsburgh Bakery that we purchased cookies to have for the wedding. All of the cookies were fresh and delicious on the big day. I’m having one while I write my blog, drinking my latte.

I love you for the part of me that you bring out; I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart And passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help dimly seeing there, And for drawing out into the light All the beautiful things that no one else had looked Quite far enough to find.

I Love You, by Roy Croft

PHOTOGRAPHER
A quality photographer was the one expense I was not going to skimp on for the wedding. So many couples make the mistake of having “Cousin Jimmy”, who is an “amateur” photographer capture their wedding to later find they regret the decision. That was not going to cut it for our wedding. Eloping on a few months’ notice, I limited myself to those who were available on our Friday evening date. I found Kasey Powell Weddings on Wedding Wire. I started checking out her social media page and truly appreciated her motto, “Less Posing, More Laughing.” That was important to me. The bearded one doesn’t like a big production, and we laugh a lot, so we wanted someone who could appreciate that we don’t take life too seriously. Her website was full of “in the moment” intimate pictures of couples. You can clearly tell it was less fake posing and more raw, real footage. I connected with her after the wedding she shot in Antigua. It was amazing to see her work. Her dedication to capturing the bride’s vision was very apparent. Thankfully she was available on our set wedding day, so we booked her! We met with her via zoom twice before the wedding. She sent us personal questionnaires to learn more about us, who we are, what we love.
We opted for a “First Look Session” before the wedding, but we didn’t just do “a first look”…nope, we took the Harley to the Outer Banks. Kasey captured our vision for the pictures. Having a photographer who listens to what you want plus respects that not everyone is comfortable being in front of a camera is priceless. I felt like I made a new friend in the time we spent together. The first images we received were unbelievable. Everything was magical about the experience and I recommend Kasey Powell for your OBX wedding.

OFFICIANT
One of the essential parts of the wedding is choosing an officiant. The person who presides over your “I do” should represent who you are as a couple and respect your faith views. I was delighted when I found Rev. Jay Bowman. He was funny, personal and made all of us laugh. We were able to cherish the moment we became husband and wife with laughter, thoughtful words we both had written to him about each other and we officially “tied the knot”. We chose our vows, our readings, and an infinity knot ceremony. We were able to capture the ceremony “live” on Facebook for any of our family that was back in Pittsburgh, and Jay made sure the audience far away got to experience our ceremony as though they were on the beach with us. He was fantastic, and he handled all the required signatures and submitted our license for us. It’s very clear that he loves what he does and that he cares to ensure your wedding is what you envisioned.

TRADITION
We eloped on the beach of the outer banks, a place that was our first trip together and a place we’ve returned to yearly since we’ve met with our children. Our tradition will be to return for vacation the same week as long as we possibly can. We’ll have a glass of the Jameson 18 year Irish Whiskey we got as a wedding gift. Choose a tradition as unique as you, but stick to it. Those are the memories that we cherish. Traditions are the extraordinary things that the bearded one and I will share between just the two of us for the rest of our lives.

THIRD TIMES A CHARM?
I could easily get offended by that comment, but I’m choosing to say quite simply, “YES IT IS!!” We all have paths we walk down, and many of us made decisions that we regretted later—I’ve spent the last few years learning to lean in and remember that no matter the challenge, GOD is for me. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive through our lives together. It has been an excellent adventure with the bearded one, to say the least!
I look forward to being on the back of his trike when his beard is long and gray.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it by being yourself
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means, after all.

I Love You by Roy Croft

Sincerely,
Beauty and the Bearded One